Thursday, July 21, 2011


okay, so here's the deal.
I'm the 50-year-old mom of a kindergarten kid.

I got referred to as Grandma again on Tuesday.

It wasn't rude, like "here, don't forget you spicy nuggets, Grandma." Another parent was actually encouraging her kid to not interrupt Ian. "Can't you see," she said, "He's talking to his grandma."

I know there are many women my age who ARE grandmas, and they are active and involved with the kids and and vital to their families. There's nothing wrong with being a grandma. I would be proud to be a grandma, climbing around the Chik-fil-a playground with the kid.

But I'm not. I'm proud (as well as rather put-upon) to be a MOM climbing around with the kid, and I as much as I don't want the idea to bug me - it does. A little.

People who mistake me for something I'm not usually mistake me for a man. (I got called 'Sir" on Saturday at Artscape.) And sometimes people assume I'm a lesbian.

Neither of those bothers me.

And yet I am desperate to correct people who call me Grandma.

I have always been told I looked young. Younger than I am.

So help me, internet.

Is it the utilitarian clothes? (On tuesday, I was wearing a black t-shirt in a jersey fabric, and black shorts, hoop earrings, rings, and black flip-flops.)
(Is it the flip flops? Oh, good Lord, please don't let it be the flip flops, I can't go back to wearing shoes. I can't.)

The practical haircut? My color? (Current color - brown roots, bleached tips, daily pool abuse.) My hair's not grey, and I have an actual tan (for the first time in my life.) I have freckles, but not age spots or visible sun damage (see above, first tan of my life.)

If it's because I'm fat, well, I'll just have to live with that. I could be less fat, but I don't see my lifelong morphology changing anytime soon.

PLEASE make some suggestions. I want to look like me, and the me I picture is funny, active, curious about the world, artistic, and not old.

Help me, internet! You're my only hope!


kat said...

I remember going to Berkeley Springs when I was 34 years old and being asked if I had any grand-children!!! Sure, it's West Virginia near areas where there are a lot of people having kids young, but my feelings were hurt.
Don't know what the solution is, I absolutely DON'T think you look old and see you from time to time so I'm not just saying that from looking at a picture. I guess the only idea I have is to practice your reaction - practice not letting that comment bother you, think of a witty but not terribly biting come back and smile in a "fake it till you make it" kind of way. At least, that is the best I can think of. -Kat

Workout Warrior said...

Well, the thing that SHOCKED me with your post is -- Betsy is FIFTY??! When did THAT happen?! You definitely don't look 50. I don't know what to tell you. I think you're kinda perfect just like you are.

OddAngelCharon said...

Wow, seriously??

Maybe the next person you correct is the person you should ask.

And I got the "sir" thing again the other day too. My response to their being flustered after I correct them is "It's okay, I get that a lot." Which I do.

But "grandma"? That's a stumper ...