Not Doing Me Any Favors

I work in youth ministry.

You can tell, because the other day I realized that I say "Awesome." Not ironically. Sincerely.At least once a day.

Yes, I sincerely believe that there are things in my everyday life that are so wonderful, so literally full of wonder, that they deserve to be called Awesome, and I call them that. To other adult humans. Out loud. And occasionally in emails. More than 7 times a week.

(I also use it in text messages. But for some reason, it's usually sarcastic when I use it in a text. Hmmm.)

Anyway, part of my (awesome) job is writing lessons for our kids on Sundays.

This month, we'll be trying working on empathy, trying to grind into their tiny little heads what Jesus said in Matthew 7:12 - "In everything, do to others what you would want them to do to you," (as it says in the flat-footed but exceptionally clear New International Reader's Version.)

So: The Golden Rule.

How do you get pre-schoolers to begin to recall scripture? Well, the same way you get adults and teens and centegenarians to - by singing a song.

Google Golden Rule Song.

I dare you.

Oksy, I don't dare you. I can't be responsible for the effect on my tender-hearted friends. or my under-18 friends, and I have plenty of both. You know, because youth minister.

The top result - the top PAGE of results - involve a parody rap song from Lonely Island, vocals by Andy Samberg, joined in this number by Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga, some humiliating fake beards, and a bunch of clothes from Chess King.

The specific golden rule in the song is not the sum of the law and the prophets. It's an etiquette rule about is specific to a form of adult recreation, about which a woman might text a gent*, after which he would hop a transit bus to her house, with a 6 of Bartles and James.

It's not subtle, but it's pretty funny. Now I want to listen to some of their other songs, but I can't. Because I am now at home with my child. Not in my office at church. Right.

SO not what I was looking for. 

[*Spoiler alert: OR TWO.]


:Bonus:  if you'd like to see a Golden Rule song that is possibly even more inappropriate for a pre-school Sunday School class, Google: Jack Black Golden Rule Song.

Is it me? Really? Seriously, you can tell me. It's me, isn't it?

So I finally made some of this freakin' No Knead Bread that the entire bake-o-sphere has been on about for a year.

The backstory: Mark Bittman, my #1 favorite in the pantheon of favorite food writers, wrote about this idea in his column for the NYTimes Wednesday food section last November. Read it here. I must admit, I scoffed. That cannot work, I said.

But a whole lot of people got excited about this recipe, and this technique (if, in fact, leaving something in the fridge for a couple of days could be called a technique.) (And, as I consider my love of brined poultry, I guess it can.) Really, it has been the talk of the food-blogosphere.

I was looking something up on Jaden's Steamy Kitchen, which I love, and saw that she was pimping a technique that she said was even easier and resulted in a loaf that was even tastier - from a cookbook called Artisan Bread in 5 Min a Day. Seriously, who could resist that?

So on Saturday I whipped up a bowl of this dough. And tonight I baked some off. The third loaf is in the oven right now for another couple of minutes. We've eaten one small loaf - I had planned to have it with dinner, but it didn't get done in time, so now it's not dinner, it's just an experiment.

Here are the things I think I did wrong:
I may not have used enough salt.
I think I may have played with the dough too much.
I definately didn't give those first two loaves enough time to proof today between fridge and oven.

It was never spectacularly wet and sticky like the dough Bittman talks about - after just a little while on the counter, it was more springy and earloby, like regular bread dough after some turns in the KitchenAide.

The result:
The crust is really excellent. No complaints there. (The bread I bake normally is famous for its crust, but the famous crust is the product of a fairly fiddly process involving ice water, a pump-spray bottle, and way too many oven-door-openings for a house with a toddler in it. This is definately the best crust I have ever had without the insane fiddling.)

The crumb (the soft inside part) is soft, medium dense, uniform rather than bubbley or interestingly textured. I was disappointed in this, especially after seeing the gorgeous photos like this one:
from Steamy Kitchen.

She also raves about the flavor, and this is where the evidence lies that I have gone wrong somewhere. The flavor of my loaves is decent, but it's not great.

On the scale of bread flavor (0 being a white hoagie roll at Subway, decidedly far worse than Wonderbread, and 10 being Peter Rinhart's Brother Juniper slow-rise French Bread made at home - dude, this was a 4. That's me, being charitable. A charitable 4.

Ideas for next time:
I could always try FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS.
I could go with the Bittman/Sullivan Street recipe (which has no sugar)(which is where I think the flavor problem may lie.)

I have to say, though - I was wrong. This really is easy and fast, and it really does result in a loaf of bread with some seriously good characteristics.

Figures that I would start experimenting with this at the END of winter, doesn't it? You'll be able to spot our house this summer. It'll be the one that runs the air conditioning all day and night, with the tip jar on the porch.

And it'll smell awesome.

tagged

we watch a lot of animal planet these days - even the commercials have animals in them, which thrills The Dude, who is in his I Can Name That Animal phase.

When you're tagged on Animal Planet, it means you have a radio collar, or maybe a tiny camera mounted (harmlessly, I guess) on your forehead or under your chin.

So Renee tagged me. (Rather recently, as opposed to when Flip tagged me and it took like 3 months for me to think of anything to say.)

rules to play

1. players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
3. players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

my 8 random factoids:
1. I share my birthday with Penn Jillette, and my exact birth date with Craig and Charlie Reid, The Proclaimers.
(oh, come on, there must be a better picture than that!)
(Ah, here's one.

2. I am a huge fan of The Proclaimers, and I've seen them 4 times. (They don't tour in the US very often.) We saw them in Annapolis on September 10, 2001.

3.I'm a huge fan of Richard Thompson, and I've seen him at least 6 times. (He comes to the US all the time.)

4. When I'm bored, I make my way through Finslippy's blogroll. It's how I discovered Whoppee.

5. I'm sitting here crying, no lie, because I took a moment to read Finslippy's Minty Bear post.

6. My child uses 'Momma' and 'Dadda' interchangably. This secretly pleases me.

7. My favorite thing in the Bible is the Book of Tobit. This book may not actually be in your bible. I read it at a Catholic retreat center, because I had forgotten my NIV. You should definately find a copy and read it.
Here's the cool thing about the Book of Tobit - my experience of reading it really reminded me how many identities I put on the Bible (you know: research tome, mash note from God, Magic 8-Ball) and how often I (by all accounts a literary sort) forget one of the primary identities: Book of Stories. I sat down and leafed through the bible, and this section caught mt eye, and honestly, it was just like God took me aside and said "You will not believe this! Listen to this story!"

8. I have not missed an issue of Vogue since 1979. (No, I don't still have them all.)

8 people:
beth
Stacie
jen
Sandy, who can post them in the comments.
Lori, who can do the same.
Jeff
would April do this? (WWAD, anyway?)
Oh, what the hell - DJ and/or Rachelle, since they aren't busy at all.

Bonus factiod: My hair is no longer Special Effects USA Virgin Rose (as it was the last time I meme-ed.) It's now Feria Auburn Brown. This is very close to my pre-grey-patches natural color.