Friday, September 22, 2006

Devotional Object

Man, all I can say is, thank God for Oxy-clean.

A couple of months ago, Husband bought a gigantic tub of this stuff, at which I scoffed. "Pshaw!" I guffed,"Isn't that the stuff in the (ugh) infomercial?" (I pride myself on my sales resistance; it makes me feel entirely superior to Husband, who, though kind and quite hot, has very little.)

He was right about this stuff, though - it's brilliant! It has saved us at least a gazillion dollars in professional cleaning and new clothes, as I have undertaken "Project Closet".

I was getting quite sick of my closet; sick, mostly, of opening it and finding nothing to wear. I knew for sure that I had bought clothes, over the years, that were attractive and fit well and went together into outfits. And yet, for the last several months, I've been throwing open the closet doors every morning, re-creasing my already-creased brow, heaving a sigh, and reaching for the same pair of jeans and dodgy black t-shirt.

And feeling more and more dowdy, as if having the World's Cutest Baby back in December had stolen my mojo.

And feeling really really fat. Now, I've been fat all my life, and, with some exceptions, I haven't really minded it much. I've always been healthy, had many more cute days than hideous ones, and it doesn't seem to have ruined my social or romantic life.

However, I am used to seeing myself in a certain shape. You know, round. I am quite used to being round. But since having the kid, things seem to have...shifted. Interestingly, they've shifted UP. Didn't see that coming, did you? Me either, believe me. But my roundess has shifted up, forming a mound above my belt that was never there before my pregnancy.

So, to recap: though I am 20 pounds lighter than I was pre-pregnancy, I look about as pregnant now as I did this time last year. At the start of my 3rd trimester. All my clothes still fit, technically, but they look entirely different. And by different, of course, I mean crappy. I've been walking around in jeans, black loafers, and something from my large collection of completely plain black t-shirts. Since about March. No jewelry to speak of(Grabby Baby), no accessories, my usual home haircut.

Why on earth would I feel dowdy?

So last Saturday, I flung open my closet doors and took out everything. I sorted through it all, even shoes, even those 200 wire hangers that say "we love our customers smileyface smileyface". I dispensed with a small pile of unflattering things, traded the very summery fluttery things for the turtlenecks and wooly tweedy things. I filed the cotton t-shirts in the drawer with my shorts and sports bras. I hung everything by type and then color.

And ended up with the spotty pile.

You know that pile of clothes, the ones that looked fine when you hung them in the closet but have apparently developed a weird dark spot (or 6) while hanging there?

Honestly, my life must be pretty uncomplicated, because the mysterious appearance of the weird dark spot is one of the most supremely frustrating things in my life.

I ruthlessly threw all the spotty things, all the mysterious things into one pile, the greying shirts, that camisoles with the little bits of soy sauce. There are some shirts in this pile that I absolutely love, some that are practically brand new.

I am rehabbing the clothes. I am completely committed to tossing whatever doesn't come clean, so that whenever I reach into my closet, I'll come up with something that fits and flatters and is decent enough to wear in public and are, you know..clean. Undamaged.

The first round - the white shirts - was a raging success. Everything from the first round has survived to return to the closet! Because of Oxy-Clean! Last week, I wore two white shirts that I haven't worn in months! Because of Oxy-Clean!

I'm soaking the brown shirts right now.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Now this is a church service:

Go read this, about a presentation that the Ikon community did at Greenbelt (what's Greenbelt?) this summer.

If you scroll down through the comments, there's a brief description of the service from Pete, and also the text of the short 'sermon' by Ian Paisley. You can read that first and then read the main entry, which talks about some of the motivations/goals/thinking behind the design of the service.

Sometimes the work I do - liturgy, the alleged 'work of the people', thinking about my own and hearing about others' - gives me room spins. I once wrote in my journal that people seem to expect God to affirm what they're doing by making them feel solid, grounded and comfortable...but in my experience, it felt more like standing up in the back of a moving pickup truck. Offroad.

Honestly - despite what I say, I have not loved every second of my job.

But right now, I love my job.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

How am I?

Let me tell you how I am.
I have a head cold and my period at the same time.

Every time I sneeze, I have to do laundry.

That's how I am.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

liveblogging the project -

Good Lord! Laura has gone from hmm, these tailored pants are a bit tight to DUDE look at that extremely PREGNANT woman.
I do admire her designs (plus she endeared herself to me - this is kind of counterintuitive - when someone expressed shock that she was having a 6th child, and she said she'd just 'throw it on the pile with the other 5.'

I feel protective about Kayne - a little like I did about Andrae. I want to smack people when they say mean things about his dresses.
His evening dress came out fabulous! I ADORE the assymetrical corset lacing! (I wonder if it was on purpose.)

Oh, just shut up. In the dictionary, beside the word 'tiresome', there is a picture of you.

My choice to win. (Not too brave a prediction - it's kind of obvious.)
You'll notice, when Jeffery and Laura are standing in the corner of the work room, analytically abusing the other designers and coldly dissing everyone - including one another - like they're the cool kids in the cafeteria....Michael just keeps draping. Even Vincent and Uli are cracking on the other designers! I'm sure the producers encourage them to, but that's just vulgar.
Michael's dress for this challenge came out excellent, (The judges do not agree!) but I kind of assumed it would (which is the trouble with having distinguished yourself already.)
Plus he just said he was 'sweatin' like a whore in church'!! Extra points from me for that.

I'm very fond of Vincent. His dress looks nice, but I think he'll be out this week, on account of all the glue holding the gown together.

all her dresses look alike. I'm bored. Though I must give props to her plus-sized outfit from 2 weeks ago.

I'll publish this now before the winner is announced...

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

blog title envy

But when you're a middle-aged woman who just got six hours of sleep because it's obviously Catastrophe Week at your church and you didn't get the memo with the dates, and your have purple rings under your eyes and your hair is flat and greasy because you just didn't think it was worth the fifteen minutes it would take to wash and blow dry it, you don't want your fun, diversionary beauty magazines to just LIE to you and tell you that this fresh-scrubbed "look" is flattering. Or that it's even a "look." Most of all, you don't want these fun, diversionary magazines to LIE EVEN MORE and list fourteen products that, if you purchase them, will help you achieve this "look," when you know very well that all it really requires in real life is a tub of Vaseline, a set of lights, a genius photographer, and a professional art editor.

Why didn't I think of this?

Beauty Tips for Ministers.
His death is especially tragic when you consider how many people there are on TV who deserve to be attacked by stingrays.

The Crocodile Hunter's death - very shocking. Trust Harry to say the only thing left worth saying.

Harry is also the author of a blog post titled:
"People who like football should be put in boxes and bulldozed into the sea". He doesn't write nearly often enough.

vialaid off dad.

Saturday, September 02, 2006