Friday, August 10, 2007

My favorite dead blog

has long been Chez Miscarriage, which left us about 2 years ago, on account of getupgirl having a kid and undoubtedly becoming far too busy/exhausted/happy to blog. And if she did/is, I guess it would have to have a new name, now, wouldn't it?

I really admired getupgirl's writing, and her honesty and selfawareness and her sense of humor.

But I might have a new favorite dead blog. Except it may not be dead.

I've spent much of tonight reading What Would Jesus Blog?, which is, in fact, Jesus' blog. Jesus likes a lot of bands, most of which I have never heard of, but that would make sense, I guess, seeing as he's omnipresent etc.

But he also writes nice things, which I've always imagined (or hoped) Jesus would say.

Like here are some highlights from a february post:

What I’ve Learned
By Jesus Christ

1. God made your world and religious people will destroy it.
2. Nobody will believe you if you tell them you’re going to get killed but then come back to life.
3. Gatorade A.M. is basically just normal Gatorade with an annoying marketing strategy.
6. If you don’t consider yourself a leader, My Dad thinks you’d be great at it.

14. People hate to hear the truth. Weezer is underrated and Sonic Youth is overrated.

17. I don’t need you to do anything. The story isn’t about you.
18. Belief that I am who I say I am rarely comes through debate.

But here's something really beautiful: it's nearly all of the latest post, from May. (I really want to author to come back to blogger and blog some more, for my amusement, but maybe if I had written this, I'd be satisfied too...)

Hallelujah, whatever

Once you become friends with Me, part of Me literally moves into your body. I can do that. I’m very powerful. So, that part of Me helps you out all the time. If you listen close, you can her Me talking to you through that little version of Me that lives in your heart. When you talk to Me, this hobbit-like mini-Christ is what translates your conversation into the language of angels. It’s the perfect language, very pure. I’ll teach you it when you get up here. Anyway, this translator is able to take the awkward prayers you attempt to send up to Me, and deciphers it into what you really mean. For example, you wouldn’t believe how many people pray nightly for Me to “bless their day”. That’s pretty vague. You want sunshine? You want to win the lottery? What does that mean? Well, that’s one of the reasons I move inside you, so I can figure out what you are saying. That’s also why you can worship Me by singing words you might not understand like “hallelujah” or “hosanna in the highest”. I can figure out what you think you’re saying, and through your odd prayers or worship songs, you and I can have a relationship that is stronger than you realize.

That being said, I gave you all “great” voices. Just because you don’t think you’d make it to the judge table on American Idol doesn’t mean you have an amazing voice. Ever hear of Bob Dylan? His albums sell more than Chris Daughtry, and he sings like a duck… seriously, when ducks talk, it sounds like “Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall”. The voice I gave you, I hand picked for you, and if you use it to sing to Me, it’s more moving than any other earthly sound.

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